Isn't any part of this my fault?
I like to quote a saying of the early battered women's movement: "No matter what he says you did, he has no right to hurt you"
Even if you agree that you did it whatever it was (but make sure you ask yourself carefully if you really did it the way he says you did, with the bad intent he says you had , etc.) - even then, it's a felony to assault you in any way (including restraining your movement) and in many places it's a felony even to threaten to cause bodily harm or restraint.
Yes, you my have spoken nastily, not done what you promised to do, etc. etc. We are not perfect. But he does not have the right to punish you physically or even verbally. He is not your parent.
No matter what he says you did, he has no right to hurt you
See also: The power of the mindful pause
© Proactive Mindfulness