If I were different would he stop?
Yes and no. Some batterers learn to respect a woman setting firm limits and cease or lessen certain behaviors - say, physical aggression. However, this doesn't end their central need to control you. (see below)
Other batterers step up their behavior on all fronts when they feel defied by a woman.
No matter what he says you did, he has no right to hurt you
2018 Mindful Pause / Proactive Mindfulness
See: Demystifying mindfulness - Mindfulness & spirituality - From mindless to mindful - One-minute mindfulness exercise - Mindful listening - Embodied relational mindfulness - Relational mindfulness - Bodyfulness - Existential mindfulness - Reactive vs Proactive quotes & thoughts - Mindfulness exercises - Secular alternative 12 steps