I don't understand how one burnt roast can cause such an explosion
Like the baby whose needs are unmet, he has a tantrum. Unfortunately for you, he has adult weapons to use in this tantrum, be they his vocabulary, his knowledge of your weak points, or the use of his fists or the threat that he could get physical.
It can be very confusing to you to see the adult body and hear the adult vocabulary (sometimes a very sophisticated one) at the same time as feeling the infantile rage just underneath the grownup veneer. Are you dealing with a man you need to fear or respect or are you hooked up with a baby you need to comfort or at least tolerate?
(By the way, it hopefully helps you to identify his baby side but it is not a good idea to tell him he's behaving like a baby - it will only make him feel more belittled and therefore revengeful toward you.)
No matter what he says you did, he has no right to hurt you
See also: The power of the mindful pause
© Proactive Mindfulness