How could that be?
Because if there's any chance of his facing himself for real, it will come when he "hits bottom" and realizes what his behavior has cost him.
These men have very "thick" defenses against facing their own behavior, and they need a shock. Think of it as "tough love" you might have to give a difficult adolescent.
Many abusers will not face themselves but will rather quickly replace you with the next willing woman. While that's tragic for her, your concern about his survival is taken care of. The sad truth is that these men are all too good at finding the caretaking they're convinced that they need.
No matter what he says you did, he has no right to hurt you
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