How do I know I'm being abused?
Look for a pattern to his behavior. This is very important. While moments in which we control partners are not ideal, they're pretty common among couples. Often people go for help with these things and they should. But one minor incident in years of being together does not constitute abuse in the way this site is defining it.
The point of this site is to help women who identify a pattern in the control and/or rage of their partners.
No matter what he says you did, he has no right to hurt you